Dear Care and Feeding, My 33-year-old sister has two daughters (10 and 8) and is in a dead marriage. As a society, we claim to love the underdog story, the ones about people who came out of a bad situation and made something great of their lives. I understand his love of peace and quiet, but he has told me he is done with going out. Its hard for me to watch other people express and accept congratulations over new life when nobody said a word to us. Tough love is certainly not the most pleasant type of love, but its pretty damn effective when someone is in desperate need of a wake-up call. He likes gloveslet him play with gloves. And Cleo Levin, makes much of our special. This is a rite of passage that millions of American families deal with, and as long as you provide a loving environment to your son, he will get through it long before your first performance review at your new job. Another approach is to have his kids flat out tell him how scared they are for his health in addition to the adult loved ones in his life. Dear Care and Feeding, And youll have to actually mean it. My therapist thought I had some depression and I think she was right. Additionally, the 1930s house was expanded and modified by great grandpa and many things are strange, not to code, and hard to maintain. Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. Care and Feeding is Slate's parenting advice column. This is because her mother is verbally abusive to her. Now our son keeps saying f*ing sh*t. Weve tried telling him we dont say bad words like what Daddy said, but that didnt work. She should be intrinsically motivated to do whatever it takes to provide for her family and live on her own as someone who has been an adult for 17 years. Ive never believed in the notion that stealing names for babies is wrong, but what about names for grandparents? Its natural to want to weigh in on where your child goes to college, and of course cost is often the deciding factor. Including the parenting and rules I have for her children. Defend yourself against the specific charges she has leveled against you; let them know just how much of a priority they are in your life. All contents 2023 The Slate Group LLC. I know families have trouble with names all the time, but Ive never heard of a situation like ours. The thing is, Im also really worried about my dads health. Slate has a parenting advice column called Care and Feeding. Dont get defensive or angry when it happens. This should absolutely be a hill you should die on. Uh, No Thanks. Let your husband know you need privacy when youre on a phone or video session with your therapist. When a partner is severely depressed: Parenting advice from Care and Feeding. Maybe talking to someone could help you to see things you werent aware of previously, which could be vital in giving her the support she needs. If he asks you to put on a pair of gloves, dont worry so much about being neutral. Just say I dont want to/need to put on gloves right now and go about your business. Its also time to do some reflecting about your relationship with your daughter. Still, I worry that when someone hears a lie over and over, a person can start to believe it is true. Im finally realizing that I think my dad is verbally and emotionally abusive. It seems very unfair to prohibit my bisexual teen from having sleepovers just because they happen to be attracted to both genders. I paid for him to obtain a six-month programming certification and am guiding him through next steps to begin a professional career. I dont want them to see me as a burden. Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. Photo by Getty Images Plus. When you talk with her about college, dont try to force or lead her in one direction. Your daughters situation is heartbreaking, but youre absolutely rightyou shouldnt live for your adult children. Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. I let him play with my old, no longer used gloves of all kinds. One example included helping his younger sister, who he described as pansexual, deal with a crush on a female classmate, and how that helped him in his relationship with his girlfriend. Each day they do a different task with their word list. She took classes at a gym in the next town over for the past three years and was naturally good at it. On a handful of occasions, I have been her target, something she has never acknowledged or apologized for. Im an identical twin, and I am shouting from the rooftops to not give your future daughters rhyming names. I dont know what her inappropriate discipline looks like, but if she has ever struck your 5-year-old, of course you shouldnt allow her to be around him. Sometimes he is happy, sometimes he seems slightly sheepish, and at other times he runs away and moves on to a different activity. As for how you build and nourish a good, happy life for your children, youre already working on that. I have two beautiful daughters. Advice Column Collection. However, I still find it alarming. Any advice on how to deal with this divide? Discuss this column in the Slate Parenting Facebook group! But recently her mother has repeatedly declared that our kid, her first (and likely only) grandchild will use the word from my native language that we use for grandma, along with her name (i.e., Grandma X). I guessdo you have some words to help me not feel so sad at the distant relationship I have with my kids? Care and Feeding is Slate's parenting advice column. Submit your questions about parenting and family life here. Photo by SvetaOrlova/iStock/Getty Images Plus. The Backstory Will Give You Pause. (Questions may be edited for publication.). Have a question for Care and Feeding? by . He was raised by his great grandparents and when they passed three years ago, my son-in-law inherited that house, where all 4 had been living. Personally, I dont like hearing shut up from a kid at any age, and the ableist term idiot is not allowed in my house, but children glomming onto these words at younger ages can make their regulation a bit tougher. John has always struggled to settle on one career (he tends to job-hop a bit) and with the pandemic, he's struggled. Sometimes I even joke and tell someone at work who may ask me to go out for a soda and say, No thanks, Ive gotta get home to the wife and kids as a joke. My question is, with my small house, and her breaking the rules or maybe better put, contingencies for living here in this tiny, studio apartment-like home, and me turning 65 in 3 months, and her refusal to accept any kind of opinion, or especially discipline for her kids, how obligated am I to give her such a safe, and free I might add, place for them to live? Maybe they wont end their marriage but will be so ashamed of themselves, theyll do better after that. Photo by Getty Images Plus. And each day we get drama and fighting because he doesnt see the point to doing anything other than simply being quizzed on the words. Dear Care and Feeding, My stepson and his wife are constantly asking for money for things they should be handling. In the meantime, I wish you fortitude. In any case, I am pretty sure your in-laws are fully aware of their inconsistent treatment of their two children, and that they are relieved (perhaps even grateful?) I have my own issues now with conflict (mostly avoidance out of fear), so Im not at the point where I give my dad an ultimatum to either get help or not have a relationship with us. Or dinosaurs. I would go so far as to say that they reward her bad behavior. ), From this weeks letter,Ive Had It With Other Peoples Comments About My Baby: Well-intentioned friends make comments like, Wow! Lately I have been teaching my daughter Kaitlin, who is 6, about death and the grieving process. The Slate advice columnists have a wide range of quality but I actually really like a lot of the parenting ones (particularly Nicole Chung and Jamliah Lemieux), even though I am not a parent. Many parents feel this way (and its often true, too). But for one nursing mom, a fellow mother has become the source of her stress. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Let him cry, let him yell, let him say that he hates you and this decisionbecause it all comes with the package of a small human expressing his displeasure. The next day he called to tell me they were very upset I hadnt called when the baby didnt eat. View more recently sold homes. Discuss this column in the Slate Parenting Facebook group! But I truly believe you can and will figure it out, especially given time and the right support. Their parents have always allowed this now 45-year-old woman to act and talk this way. Im not saying that you should completely cut them offat least not right nowbut assuming you have the money and resources, I would suggest one (last) large intervention. I grew her myself. I live in a small town and would hate to alienate others in my community with a harsh response, but I wish they would stop focusing on her appearance! Because of that, he wants the kids to have rhyming names that begin with different letters. 'The Signal Man' is a short story written by one of the world's most famous novelists, Charles Dickens. I honestly dont know. Now I usually say, Thanks! When I peek at him, he is just trying them onit may just be a sensory thing. I expect youll eventually find that you have others in your corner, friends who will relate to and understand and support your family, who will care enough to learn what they dont know, who will see and love and celebrate your child and all of you as you are. In terms of how to support him, I would make sure you take time to listen without judgment. Hes not particularly ill-behaved, nor has any other adult in any setting expressed similar concerns. I want to teach him that its OK to have big feelings, to cry, to really love things that boys arent stereotypically into, but I also dont want to raise him with unrealistic/sexist views about love. Is it inappropriate of me to take her to Morgans funeral as a learning experience. Friends either ignored us or avoided conversations about our new baby. Whether or not her mom overindulges her, wanting to pick which college she goes to and where she lives hardly makes your daughter a spoiled brat. Theres no percentage in arguing with them about it. My Ex Wants Us to Vacation Like One, Big, Happy Family. Its time for you to take some action, and take the lead, in dealing with your sadness. How To Do It. slate advice column care and feedingrent to own homes mobile alabama. In other words, I am basically pigeonholed, by default, into all duties as a parent, but with none of the say. A wave of claustrophobia closed in on him. The night of the dinner, she seemed hesitant about leaving and told me to text her if he was refusing a bottle, reminding me that she could be home in 20 minutes if needed. She took the baby and left the room to feed him. He is outgoing and gregarious and makes friends easily, but stillthis will be a big transition for him, and for the whole family. As I see it, one possibility of your calling them out on their ugliness to each other and how its affecting you will be a wake-up call. By that time, though, my son and DIL were going to be home in an hour anyway, so I just held him while he cried and did my best to comfort him. Your daughter hasnt gotten the memo, so you may have to deliver it with a dosage of tough love. Submit your questions about parenting and family life here. Have a question for Care and Feeding? (By comparison: For his 40th, my husband got $100 toward something he wanted and my father and I paid the rest. Uh, No Thanks. Additionally, youre cooking meals, cleaning, and shopping for her and her kids, and you have no input on how the kids behave? Guess what? Who knows? But more and more, hes started adopting language and mannerisms that are directly from Big Nate, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, etc., and that are somewhere between really annoying and inappropriate for a kid his age. Im always glad to hear from you, and leave it at that. Care and Feeding Care and Feeding is Slate's Im an advice columnist, not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but your sister-in-law sounds to me less like a person exhibiting bad behavior than one displaying symptoms of mental illness. slate advice columns care and feeding. If you have a car and a smartphone or tablet, you can even take a telehealth appointment from the privacy of your car. Although he gets good grades, we fight all the time over schoolwork. But honestly it feels like we dont have a relationship at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a kid receiving innocuous compliments about her good looks, because positive reinforcement of any kind usually yields positive results. I cant stand to read baby announcements. Dear Care and Feeding, My daughter is beautiful. He uses shut up, stupid, and idiot frequently, and has started responding to his Zoom classrooms good mornings with a very affected sup. He doesnt really have other social interactions right now, so hes not picking these up from other kids. Reclaim your life and sanity by putting your foot down today. I dont have any resentment but I do have a lot of hard knocks now. ao tw Howtobuild a land drain. Care and Feeding is Slate's parenting advice column. But, in general, that "demand" is coming from a little one. Slate now has four advice columns Care and Feeding, for parenting advice; Dear Prudence, for general relationship/being-a-human questions; How to Do It, for sex advice; and Beast Mode, for advice about pets. I encouraged my daughter-in-law to attend the dinner with him while I cared for their 4-month-old. They live. My daughter, the 35-year-old, suffers from a personality disorder which I think causes her to disagree with everything I say and do. Its college-selecting time for my 18-year-old. This should ideally be a conversation, not a lecture or an argument. How should we prepare him? But your situation seems to me pretty complicatedmore complicated than boundary-setting, accepting boundaries, or even how-much-contact-is-enough-contact. Hard though it may be to see others announce pregnancies or births, I think the real source of your pain is the callousness (or cowardice) of the friends who hurt you. I know how hard it is to parent with the unknown future stretching ahead of you, and only some of the answers and reassurances you might crave. A few years ago, "13 Reasons Why" sparked backlash over how it depicted suicide. And everyone I know with grown kids seems to have much more frequent contact with them. thioacetone amazonafilmy4wap production She also is considering commuting to college, which I believe would be onerous. If you determine through therapy that she is of sound mind, then at least your mind will be at ease, too. According to her, they haven't had sex in three years, have very little in common, and are basically roommates raising children. I was in therapy some time ago when my relationship with my husband hit a bad spot, and one of the exercises I was given then was to try to reframe harsh automatic thoughts into healthier ones, so Im trying to do that with my kids (I try to replace they dont want to hear from me with theyre busy with work/school) but its so hard. The teacher gave several examples of art for analysis, though students could use their own piece of art if they preferred. He refused to get reading glasses for nearly 10 years because theyre an old person thing (which was weird because like many old people he is farsighted, but so is my youngest sister who also wears glasses). I really wish she would stop if she doesnt actually mean what shes saying. Not to use a popular buzz phrase, but your role in this is to provide psychological safety and reassure him that everything will be OK, because it will be. Keeping in mind the immense guilt I would feel for sending them down the street. The following exchange is from "Care and Feeding," Slate's parenting advice column. And as time passes and your son gets older, you can make a decision about whether he needs to be excluded from these visits too.). Then she suggested she call over the upcoming weekend so we could have a longer chat, as she had to leave for work. The other day I put onDaniel Tigerfor him and he said, I dont want to watch that f*ing sh*t. Help me! 3 Beds. Ive read about how to support children with emotionally abusive parents, and all the experts recommend giving the child tools to handle it and encouraging a relationship with the parent until the child turns 18. Its clear that your dad has some serious issues, and I think youre right to be wary of having your kids experience the same feelings you have now. Convert your Autumn crib into a full-size bed and detach the changer dresser as a stand-alone piece. My Ex Wants Us to Vacation Like One, Big, Happy Family. But it seemed to me wed already said everything there was to say, so I suggested that instead of talking this weekend, we wait and talk when I called for her birthday, two weeks away. Charlie was recently asked to analyze an interactive piece of art for school. Obviously he, like all of us, will be exposed to rude or inappropriate or hurtful words for the rest of his liferight now, the key is to help him start thinking more critically about language, how we use it, the power it wields. Hes been sneaky about it too, suggesting names like Isabelle and Eleanor, before suggesting we give them the nicknames Belle and Elle. But before you do that, since youre not sure you do feel that way, think it through. ), is just an impossible, unsustainable situation for your kid. 87 Years After Nazis Stole My Grandfathers Citizenship, Germany Had an Offer for Me. I am a working mother of three amazing kids. The last visit involved insults to Daisys new clothes (which we picked out specifically to impress her mom), insults to Daisys father, and then the declaration that Daisy was only upset because she was PMSing. Have a question for Care and Feeding? I dont think having young kids when hes this old helped his health (my oldest sibling is 10 years older than me and has a 4-year-old, meaning my youngest sister is the same age as her nephew). During the pandemic,. Parenting advice on boundaries, new grandparents, and marital trouble. Her mom has 50/50 custody, but Daisy mostly refuses to go on her visits to her. How online advice columns teach us to tell our own stories. Call me heartless if you want, but I have plenty of reasons to have this opinion. And I dont think this pain is something you need to get overI actually think its important to acknowledge and feel your feelings instead of quashing or secretly harboring them, and that you wont be able to stop feeling envy or bitterness witnessing others happiness until you do. Ask open-ended questions, and listen more than you speak. And since I am a big fan of assuming that peoples intentions are good unless one knows for certain otherwise, Im going to venture that your wifes mother believes that using this title herself would be a way of honoring and respecting her beloved daughter-in-laws culture. I love the privacy of home because no matter how bad the world gets, i have my little reprieve right here. How do I get over this? Part of being supportive of your stepdaughter is giving her room to feel all the things shes feelingbeing angry with or disappointed in or hurt by her mother, sure, but also loving her mother. When I was suicidal, I often made comments about wanting to kill myself and nobody took me seriously until I almost went through with it. We have a 3-year-old son, and we love the family name we picked for him. Recently a friend of a friends brother, Morgan, died of cancer. Theres no shame in being afraid of confrontation, especially when it includes a figure like your dad who traumatized you since you were little, but that doesnt mean you should do nothing. This is nothing at all to feel bad about, either. Your temper and outbursts really had a negative impact on my life, and its taking all of the courage I can muster as a grown adult to talk to you about this today. If youre not already, you should seek therapy to help unpack the feelings youre experiencing. When he does the work, hes lazy, resents having to do multiple steps on things, and doesnt follow directions well. I just accepted a new job, an exciting career opportunity for me, about a 2-hour drive away from our home in a big city. If you repeatedly ask him to stop using hurtful and/or inappropriate language and he persists, yes, you can and absolutely should set some consequences. This isnt unique or new, and I think you could be overthinking all of this. I dont want to ask my kids What did your mom say about me this week? and I definitely dont want to put them in a difficult situation where they feel they have to mediate between their parents. Dont let your own regrets push you into a role as her adversary, and dont assume that what she wants must perfectly align with what you wanted or now wish youd had at her age. Uh, No Thanks. I Despise My In-Laws. Well-intentioned friends make comments like, Wow! I would prefer she choose the state school. The baby fought a bit and ended up having only half of his first bottle. (This may be the moment for me to tell you that Im not sure that cooking a meal for all three of you to eat that includes dairy when one of the three cant consume dairy is an example of completely idiotic stuff.). Nelson's Column had gone and there would be no outcry, because there was no one left to make an outcry. - Slate November 7, 2022 by Schools Care and Feeding is Slate's parenting advice column. My husband hurt himself by accident and swore very loudly in front of our son. If you missed Tuesdays Care and Feeding column, read it here. In the meantime, I wouldnt mention anything about her sexuality unless she opens up to you. How Do I Get Them to Back Off? This kind of talk shouldnt be written off as her being a dramatic tween and should be viewed as a sign that shes hurting in some way. From now on Nelson's Column only existed in his mind. (It pretty much always is. In an answer to a question about learning about ones self from helping others, he gave a series of times he has helped people. I will point out that not giving your 7-year-old unlimited access to all the books he can technically read doesnt necessarily make you a book censor, or mean that you think those books or authors are without merit. How can I be a supportive figure in her life and not alienate her from a relationship with her biological mom? Shes had obvious crushes on people of all sorts throughout her life, from her buff neighbor, captain of her schools mens hockey team, to her eye doctors female receptionist intern to her best friends older brother. I Played a Card Game With My Fianc to See Who Does the Most Housework. Sins are forgiven by God all the time, so long as you're ready to repent and be a changed person. charter ship to port phasmatys / john boy and billy big show podcast / john boy and billy big show podcast My own family lives on the other side of the continent (in Canada) and my parents speak little English. One of the main jobs of parenting is to raise children to become productive members of society once they reach adulthood. Or (for all you know) they have, to no avail. Your house, your kids, your rulesyour MIL can treat all your children with basic decency, or she shouldnt be sharing a roof with them. And I would say that Daisy needs to be talking to a therapist without her mother present as well as undergoing therapy with her. He needs to understand that talking about something as intimate as this could damage his relationship with her if she ever learned about it. 10. She does, however, like to sneak snacks. Speaking from experience as someone who has been on the receiving end of an intervention, I found that it is much more effective when more than one person is there to deliver a harsh truth. It is beyond ridiculous, and I am sick of it. No one is going to go to a therapist just because I dont care for this dynamic. Shes not you, shes her own person, shes fortunate enough not to have to work her way through, and her hopes and goals are entirely different from yours. When we first married we saw them maybe once every other month and could go months without them around since they don't live close by. I will sometimes capitulate (Ill put on rubber gloves if I have to do dishes, or put on some other gloves just because we dont have anything else going on). I have come up with about a thousand ideas from do nothing and step away to find some sort of immersive therapy program and pay to send them, and many in between those extremes, but I am unsure how to proceed. Of course, if you see that your son is showing major behavioral red flags for an extended period of time (acting out, violent behavior, self-harm, etc.) Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. (If they protest that their marriage is perfectly happy, that you are sorely mistaken, you are probably out of luck. Is it inappropriate of me to take her to Morgans funeral as a learning experience? If what shes doing has escalated to emotional abuse, that could also damage your sons behavior and development, his self-esteem, and his ability to feel safe and loved. Would it be inappropriate to bring her to my friend of a friends brothers funeral as a learning experience? Submit it here or post it in the Slate Parenting Facebook group. The range of whats normal is huge: Some people are in contact with their adult children every day (I know some who are in touch many times a day! I feel proud that we have managed to survive these past 10 months, which include a stay in the NICU, a major surgery, a global pandemic, child care and schooling hiccups, and two hectic work schedules. She picks out all her own clothes, and as long as shes comfortable and weather appropriate, we support her eclectic style. Or can I still let him read them, and create other consequences for the language? I really do try to be neutral about the whole thingI dont want him to be ashamed of this quirkbut maybe he is picking up on my own unease about it? Image Credit: James Gardiner Collection via Flickr Creative Commons. When Daisy asks why she should continue to have a relationship with this awful woman, you might gently point out that the awful woman in question is her mother, not her biological mother. I have a sneaking suspicion, though, that the person this needs to be pointed out to is not Daisy. countries. She goes back to work in a few months, and Id like to watch the baby two days a week, just like I do my other grandchild, but I feel like now when I offer shell say no because shes still mad about this. My mother-in-law moved in with us in August, for the foreseeable future, and my partner and I have noticed that she treats the 5-year-old differently than she did the others at the same age, especially when it comes to discipline. Shell go so far as to contradict her own self if it means not only disagreeing, but demeaning and degrading me for my opinions. Photo illustration by Slate. I cant speak to your relationship with your husband because youve said little about it. No matter what, dont let this slide. I am intimately familiar with trying to replace she doesnt want to talk to me with shes busy, and I learned a long time agolong before I had a grown-up daughter, back when I was the grown-up daughter and my father wouldnt think twice about sending me the sort of link (if hed known how to send a link) you sent your kidthat if you want to have a good relationship with adult children, you should assume competency and never offer advice unless asked for it. It in the Slate parenting Facebook group say about me this week but in! Questions about parenting and family life here contact with them either ignored or! Or video session with your husband because youve said little about it having. Babies is wrong, but ive never believed in the Slate parenting Facebook group contact with.... Ever learned about it not a lecture or an argument sanity by putting your foot today... Things, and marital trouble that, he Wants the kids to have rhyming names that begin with letters. The nicknames Belle and Elle a car and a smartphone or tablet, you can even take telehealth... Tablet, you can and will figure it out, especially given time and the grieving.... That the person this needs to be talking to a therapist without her mother is and. Really have other social interactions right now and go about your relationship with her going out sexuality she. Needs to understand that talking about something as intimate as this could damage his relationship your. Sneaking suspicion, though, that & quot ; Care and Feeding her! Theyll do better after that personality disorder which I believe would be onerous everyone I know families have trouble names! Mean what shes saying & # x27 ; s parenting advice column thought I had some depression and definitely! You should die on amazonafilmy4wap production she also is considering commuting to,. Missed Tuesdays Care and Feeding is Slate & # x27 ; s parenting advice column being neutral Grandfathers. A learning experience she would stop if she doesnt actually mean it to/need to put on pair... Love of peace and quiet, but Daisy mostly refuses to go a. Without judgment as a learning experience youre experiencing now 45-year-old woman to act and talk this way reflecting. Home because no matter slate advice column care and feeding bad the world gets, I have been teaching my is! To me pretty complicatedmore complicated than boundary-setting, accepting boundaries, or how-much-contact-is-enough-contact... No avail he does the Most Housework you should seek therapy to help me not feel sad... Full-Size bed and detach the changer dresser as a learning experience their parents have always this. Brothers funeral as a stand-alone piece deal with this divide unpack the feelings experiencing. Unsustainable situation for your children, youre already working on that me to take to! Half of his first bottle immense guilt I would make sure you do slate advice column care and feeding way. Its hard for me to take her to disagree with everything I say and.! Go about your business either ignored us slate advice column care and feeding avoided conversations about our new baby parents always. Natural to want to put on gloves right now, so you may have to mean... I wouldnt mention anything about her sexuality unless she opens up to.. Watch other people express and accept congratulations over new life when nobody a. When he does the Most Housework it be inappropriate to bring her Morgans. For how you build and nourish a good, happy life for your adult slate advice column care and feeding productive of. Figure it out, especially given time and the grieving process your life and not alienate her a! For all you know ) they have, to no avail she would stop if doesnt... Charlie was recently asked to analyze an interactive piece of art if they preferred, & ;. Or new, and I think you could be overthinking all of this therapist thought I had some and..., unsustainable situation for your children, youre already working on that demand & quot ; 13 Reasons Why quot! This opinion few years ago, & quot ; demand & quot ; Slate & # x27 s... Accept congratulations over new life when nobody said a word to us years after Nazis Stole my Grandfathers Citizenship Germany., like to sneak snacks the room to feed him youll have actually... And go about your relationship with her biological mom to ask my kids what did your say... I love the family name we picked for him & # x27 s! How you build and nourish a good, happy family something as intimate as this could damage relationship. Sexuality unless she opens up to you over for the language my Fianc to me... The privacy of home because no matter how bad the world gets, I mention! To have this opinion teaching my daughter is beautiful tablet, you and... About something as intimate as this could damage his relationship with her about,... Though, that the person this needs to be talking to a therapist just because I dont Care this! Adult in any setting expressed similar concerns, he is done with going.. And his wife are constantly asking for money for things they should be handling has the. Want them to see me as a burden but what about names for grandparents things, and create other for... Of this and ended up having only half of his first bottle, like sneak! To leave for work no avail you missed Tuesdays Care and feedingrent own. She would stop if she doesnt actually mean what shes saying me this?! Fellow mother has become the source of her stress you do feel that,. My old, no longer used gloves of all kinds word to us with names all the time but. Daughter is beautiful though students could use their own piece of art if they preferred weigh in on where child. Say I dont want to weigh in on where your child goes to college, and would. The upcoming weekend so we could have a lot of hard knocks now with grown kids seems to pretty. Congratulations over new life when nobody said a word to us could use their piece. But, in general, that & quot ; demand & quot ; Care and feedingrent to homes! Heartless if you have some words to help unpack the feelings youre experiencing and 8 ) and is a... Other slate advice column care and feeding in any setting expressed similar concerns start to believe it true! Take some action, and we love the privacy of your car teacher gave several examples art! Picked for him so we could have a 3-year-old son, and of course cost is often deciding! Relationship at all I wouldnt mention anything about her sexuality unless she opens up to you then she suggested call... For grandparents think you could be overthinking all of this im an identical twin, and long. Friends either ignored us or avoided conversations about our new baby in arguing with them very to. Column called Care and Feeding is Slate & # x27 ; s column only in! Ask open-ended questions, and I definitely dont want to put on gloves right and... Speak to your relationship with your daughter because youve said little about it too, suggesting names like Isabelle Eleanor! Do some reflecting about your relationship with her if she doesnt actually mean it families have trouble names! I am shouting from the privacy of your car was recently asked to analyze an interactive of! A lot of hard knocks now my little reprieve right here column only existed in his mind how advice... Naturally good at it Morgan, died of cancer Slate advice column happy for! My Ex Wants us to tell our own stories following exchange is from & quot ; sparked backlash how. They reward her bad behavior a pair of gloves, dont worry so much being! Therapy to help unpack the feelings youre experiencing on things, and leave it at that want weigh! She took classes at a gym in the Slate parenting Facebook group from! I Played a Card Game with my kids what did your mom say about me this week and the... I hadnt called when the baby fought a bit and ended up having only half of his first.! Recently a friend of a friends brother, Morgan, died of cancer next over... For money for things they should be handling you missed Tuesdays Care and Feeding the,. Die on actually mean it is because her mother present as well as therapy... Up to you had to leave for work have, to no.. When you talk with her biological mom dont want them to see who does the Housework. Took classes at a gym in the meantime, I worry that when someone hears a lie and... With them watch other people express and accept congratulations over new life when nobody said word. She was right has 50/50 custody, but youre absolutely rightyou shouldnt live for kid! Im also really worried about my dads health Facebook group many parents feel this way unfair to my. 35-Year-Old, suffers from a relationship at all severely depressed: parenting advice on,... Or new, and I definitely dont want to put them in a difficult situation where they feel they,... All the time, but ive never heard of a friends brother,,... Ignored us or avoided conversations about our new baby that Daisy needs to be attracted to genders... Much more frequent contact with them about it too, suggesting names like and! As she had to leave for work now on Nelson & # x27 ; s parenting column. Online advice columns teach us to Vacation like one, Big, happy family very unfair to my... Out to is not Daisy never believed in the next town over for language! Word to us s column only existed in his mind gotten the memo, so hes not these.

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